WE OPEN on K2K and the ASS CHILD playing ball in the backyard of K2K and FYRE's house as the main title flashes on the screen: "K2K'S DEAD: YET ANOTHER REDUX" K2K has the baseball in one hand, a cold beer in the other. K2K Okay Rod, catch the ball. K2K throws the ball at ROD, only to have it bounce off his head. ROD slumps to the ground, a glazed look in his eyes. K2K It's obvious you didn't come from my semen...moron. K2K walks up to ROD and pours some beer on him. ROD laps it up. K2K But you are one cute bastard. CUT TO: A lonely desert road. A shiny black El Camino is flying down the road. Sitting in the cab are JAFFE and JOHNSAINTJOHNER. In the back are GLOVEMAN and CHAOS GURL. The Eh Team is out, looking. JAFFE So which Stuart Gordon movie made the most money? JOHN Shut up already, you have asked me nothing but horror questions for 5 fucking days already. JAFFE Oh...hehehehe. Sorry. Do you like doggies? I think they are cute. JOHN *yelling to the back* Either of you two want to drive for a bit? GLOVEMAN and CHAOS GURL both shake their heads no. JOHN Fuck. GLOVEMAN Any word on another Grimnir attack? CHAOS GURL is busying hunting on the internet. CHAOS GURL Nope...not a thing. GLOVEMAN Hey, you're kinda cute. Wanna shag? CHAOS GURL No. You worked on a NOES film. You're like....old *shivers* GLOVEMAN Damn, and I thought that working on a NOES film would get me ass. CHAOS GURL Not as a assistant. You fetched coffee. GLOVEMAN Among other things.... CHAOS GURL Besides, Dream Child sucked. GLOVEMAN *sobs* My cursed luck. CUT TO: DARK HIPPIE's house. He's sitting on the toilet, taking a dump. In between emissions from his ass, he spanks it to the Koran, while smoking a chronic blunt. DARK HIPPIE Oh yeah, breaking the rules is fun... Suddenly, his toilet explodes in a flash of porcelain. DARK HIPPIE is thrown from the toilet. Getting up, he realizes he has something in his ass. DARK HIPPIE Guess my finger slipped through the toilet paper again. Best piece of ass I have ever had. Hehehehehehe. He looks down to see that it isn't his finger, but the infamous black dildo. DARK HIPPIE Oh my god no!!! I just lost my virginity!!! He then looks up and sees THE GRIMNIR. After 3 scripts, we finally get a full look at him in full light. He is slighty decayed, fat, and dimply. He wears Roo sneakers, MC Hammer Parachute pants, a Swatch, an iron-on baby girl shirt with the JEM logo on it (Show time, Synergy!!!) and a mesh ball cap from the 1984 Monster Truck and Tow. THE GRIMNIR WEG DARK HIPPIE Hehehehe, you are dressed like a fag. THE GRIMNIR WEG THE GRIMNIR walks over to DARK HIPPIE. Taking the dildo out of his ass, he then rams it into his mouth, and twists his neck and breaks it. CUT TO: The Eh Team's Camino. Suddenly CHAOS GURL's laptop beeps. CHAOS GURL Got him...he's at Dark Hippie's place. GLOVEMAN Hurry up...get us there. CHAOS GURL I'll let everyone know. CUT TO: THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET CHATROOM MECHADRAGON X and UBERKITTY are in there, saying sweet nothings to each other. START CHAT TRANSCRIPT MECHADRAGON X: I wuv you honey bunny UBERKITTY: I know, my manly wanly man >>>CHAOS GURL has entered the chatroom MECHADRAGON X: *ahem* so Kitty, what you do is take this database and....oh hey Chaos Gurl. CHAOS GURL: We've got a lock on The Grimnir. He's just killed Dark Hippie. MECHADRAGON X: WHOOO HOOOOO UBERKITTY: BOUT FUCKING TIME. WAY TO GO GRIMNIR!!! CHAOS GURL: You both suck.... >>>CHAOS GURL has left the chatroom END CHAT TRANSCRIPT CUT TO: DARK HIPPIE's house. The Eh Team is there, examining DARK HIPPIE's body. Suddenly, JAFFE notices something. It's part of a picture, torn basically in half. JAFFE Hey guys...look at this. Everyone else comes over. JOHN What is it? JAFFE A picture, but it's all torn up. GLOVEMAN takes the picture. GLOVEMAN I'd know those tits anywhere... that's a picture of Fyre. Everyone else looks at GLOVEMAN GLOVEMAN What? I have it as my wallpaper. JAFFE Ewwww....why can't you be normal and have a wallpaper of a psychopath like the rest of us? CHAOS GURL I think The Grimnir is going for FYRE JOHN Gee....you think of that all by yourself? CHAOS GURL Shut up John...let's go. They leave DARK HIPPIE's house. He's still dead and sodomized. The Eh Team forgot to call the cops or a hospital. Damn Canadian vigilantes. CUT TO: K2K and FYRE's house. K2K and ROD are playing Madden and drinking beer. ROD is playing with the Houston Texans, K2K with the 1990 San Francisco 49ers. ROD is winning the game 84-3. K2K Damn. For a cock with arms, you play pretty good at this thing. FYRE pokes her head in the walkway. FYRE Stop calling him a cock with arms. And stop giving the baby beer. K2K Not my fault he likes it. ROD Beer. K2K Hey honey, the cock just said his first word. FYRE comes running in the room. FYRE What was it? K2K Beer. FYRE *shakes head* Jesus... K2K rubs ROD's head K2K So damn cute. *looks at hand* Ewww. Honey, I need a dish towel. The cock's secreting that icky shit again. *looks at ROD* Bad cock. Bad...bad...bad.... Suddenly, THE GRIMNIR bursts through the living room wall, dildo in hand. K2K Uh honey, nevermind about that dish towel. ROD Dada K2K Uh honey, I think the cock's dad just showed up. FYRE walks in the living room. FYRE Ewww, I had sex with that? I must have been pretty sedated. K2K Do you think now is a good time to mention child support? During this conversation, ROD HERTZ has crawled up to THE GRIMNIR. He reaches up... ROD Dada THE GRIMNIR WEG THE GRIMNIR picks up ROD. FYRE smiles. FYRE Awww....that's so cute. THE GRIMNIR then throws ROD into the wall. ROD smashes into the wall, dies, and leaves an off-white viscous substance as it slides down the wall. K2K *to FYRE* told you he was a cock, he even bled semen. *To GRIMNIR* Who's gonna pay for that cleaning bill, asshole? THE GRIMNIR WEG K2K That's it. Nobody fucks up my walls and doesn't offer to pay for them to be fixed and cleaned. Suddenly, The Eh Team bursts through the door. JAFFE Stop right there Grimnir. FYRE Hi Jaffe. JAFFE Hey Fyre. GET HIM GUYS! The Eh Team charges at THE GRIMNIR. There is a massive battle. During the battle, CHAOS GURL gets a dildo jammed in her mouth and chokes to death. GLOVEMAN wanders over to FYRE. GLOVEMAN Hey Fyre...how you doin? FYRE Eww...you worked on NOES 5. GLOVEMAN Dammit....no play there either. Suddenly, a dildo pierces GLOVEMAN's anus.... GLOVEMAN Ouch that....heh, actually that kinda feels good. Deeper, Grimnir. THE GRIMNIR breaks GLOVEMAN's neck. K2K runs upstairs. JOHN Chickenshit bastard. THE GRIMNIR pierces JOHN's heart with the dildo. JOHN I deserve better than this... I'm a mature Canadian... JOHN dies. THE GRIMNIR starts towards FYRE. Suddenly, K2K runs downstairs, ban-saber in hand, unignited. K2K GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! K2K runs into THE GRIMNIR, pushing them both outside. CUT TO: K2K and FYRE's backyard. FYRE and JAFFE stand at the hole in the wall. JAFFE I give 3:1 odds on K2K FYRE I'll take those odds. K2K ignites the ban-saber. THE GRIMNIR pushes a button, and a saber ignites from the end of the dildo. The dildo-saber is born. K2K looks over at FYRE K2K Did you forget to tell me you upgraded your anniversary present, dearest? FYRE Slipped my mind....sorry. K2K turns back to THE GRIMNIR. They engage in a brutal duel, ban-saber and dildo-saber slicing and parrying, neither giving an inch. This battle lasts for nearly 10 minutes. Finally K2K leaps in the air for a killing blow. THE GRIMNIR rolls under him, de-igniting his saber. He turns and sticks the dildo into K2K's ass. K2K Damn...no wonder Fyre hates ass play. That's uncomfy.... FYRE Told you so!!!! K2K does a backward slice and parry, decapitating THE GRIMNIR. FYRE and JAFFE cheer. THE GRIMNIR has a death twitch and ignites the saber yet again, with it still in K2K's ass. FYRE OH MY GOD NO!!!!! K2K *weakly* That stings a bit. They both slump to the ground, dead. FYRE and JAFFE come running over. JAFFE Guess neither one of us win the bet. Damn, and I needed money to buy Aftermath so the Canadian government could steal another one of my DVDs. FYRE K2K's alive!!! Look. K2K is barely alive. FYRE Honey, can you hear me? K2K Best...death...ever.... K2K dies finally. FYRE starts crying. JAFFE I'm sorry Fyre. But I know what can make you feel better? FYRE What is that, Jaffe? And if you say Horror Movie Trivia I will take K2K's bansaber and behead you. JAFFE Fuckbeans. CUT TO: FYRE's house. Her and JAFFE are walking outside when a car pulls up. In it are MECHADRAGON X and UBERKITTY. UBERKITTY Uh, you're missing a wall. What the fuck happened? FYRE Grimnir's dead. MECHADRAGON X Well, at least he got Hippie first. FYRE K2K's dead too. MECHADRAGON X And your point is what? FADE TO BLACK THE END