WE OPEN ON:

A dirty abandoned boiler room. We see a dirty old man in a trenchcoat
shambling along. He stops and picks up a bag of something, chuckles,
and walks along. We then see him open the bag on a utility table, but we
don't see what is in it. We then cut to various shots of a glove being 
built. Finally, the man slips the glove on his hand, and flex it. We then see
that it is a Freddy Krueger-style glove, with long thin black dildoes on the
ends of the fingertips. Then the main title comes up:

"NIGHTMARE REDUX 8: THE RETURN OF LASTPICKED"

WE CUT TO:

MR SAWYER walking around the boiler room. He is looking for something,
and muttering under his breath.

				MR SAWYER
			What a stupid place to hide a
			Special Edition bootleg of TCM 2.

Suddenly, he spots a DVD case. He picks it up and his eyes widen.

				MR SAWYER
			YES! HERE IT IS! Oh glorious
			life! Digitally remastered, with 	
			three documentaries and a trivia
			game. *Looks down* OH MY GOD
			BILL MOSELEY AUTOGRAPHED
			IT! THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL!

Suddenly, there is a crackling noise, like a dildo being scraped against
a wall or pipe. MR SAWYER turns around, and seeing nothing, looks down
at his prize again. His face fills with the look of horror. His prize has morphed
into a barebones DVD of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.

				MR SAWYER
			OH GOD NO! IS THIS HELL?!?!?

				VOICE
			You're close.

MR SAWYER turns around to see LASTPICKED, just in time to get stabbed
in the face by the dildo-claw. LASTPICKED now stands up and we get a look
at him. He's still a fat skinhead neo-nazi fucktard, but now he has a pedophilic
trenchcoat and a dildo claw. His face is also scarred.

				LASTPICKED
			Himmler will be pleased...the NOES
			board shall prepare to feel my wrath!

CUT TO:

SCOTT's dream. His ultimate dream. He is interviewing Gunnar Hansen for
a website.

				SCOTT
			Have I told you how much I admire you?

				GUNNAR
			Only about 500 times in twenty minutes.

				SCOTT
			Well, I really do. I also think you are sexy.

				GUNNAR
			Well, I am a bisexual filmmaker.

				SCOTT
			YES, THERE IS A GOD! Bend over, bitch.


We then see that SCOTT is butt-pirating GUNNAR HANSEN. He is also still
interviewing him between thrusts.

				SCOTT
			Did you get to...ahhh yeah...get to keep
			the masks from the first movie?

				GUNNAR
			Yeah I did....oh God my kidneys.

				SCOTT
			You love it. So, can I have one?

Suddenly, GUNNAR HANSEN turns to face SCOTT. Only he has morphed into
LASTPICKED.

				LASTPICKED
			No.

SCOTT screams and tries to exit GUNNAR/LASTPICKED. Only he clenches his ass
muscles together tightly as SCOTT exits. SCOTT then looks down and sees that he
no longer has a penis. He falls to the floor, screaming, where he bleeds to death.

				LASTPICKED
			The White Panthers will rejoice in my glory!

CUT TO:

FBD's home. He's smoking a chronic blunt and has his pants down, staring at a picture
of Cheech and Chong. Suddenly his door bursts open and in slithers a LASTPICKED worm,
ala Freddy vs. Jason.

				FBD
			Heh, that worm sucked in FvJ...weak.

Suddenly the worm slides up the chair with lightning speed and plugs itself into FBD's ass.
When FBD tries to scream, he hears LASTPICKED's voice instead of his own.

				LASTPICKED
			Your next. Neo-nazis hate pot, we just
			are a bunch of ignorant pill-heads.

His body fighting the force of LASTPICKED, FBD goes to his drawer. Inside is a quart of
ass-cheese, presumably from the last time he had the munchies. He takes the whole quart jar
and swallows it down. Beginning to convulse, he falls to the floor and dies. From his body 
rises LASTPICKED.

				LASTPICKED
			Damn. I'm thirsty. I wonder if he has
			any soda pop or something to drink.

LASTPICKED goes to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. He frowns.

				LASTPICKED
			Damn. Water and beer. I was trying
			to get rid of my fat ass by drinking no
			colas, but it didn't work. So back to pop.

CUT TO:

BOUNCY X's house. He is masterbating to a picture of Dr. Simms from Dream Warriors.

				BOUNCY X
			heh yeah sims to my examinaton sttat!
			yeah baby tak dat ass cok.

As he orgasms, his semen forms into LASTPICKED, who is now standing at the foot
of the bed. He then raises the dildo-claw

				LASTPICKED
			Seed of Lastpicked....HAHAHA!

				BOUNCY X
			dud that a lame mofo'n idea..LMAO

BOUNCY X is beheaded.

CUT TO:

THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET CHATROOM

Only FYRE, TOM K, and JAFFE are there.

START CHAT TRANSCRIPT

FYRE: I miss K2K...so horny.

TOM K: Can I come over and keep you company Fyre?

FYRE: Shut up and drink your beer.

TOM K: OKAY!!!!

>>>BOUNCY X has entered the chatroom

JAFFE: Welcome BOUNCY X

JAFFE: Hey Bouncy

TOM K: S'up Bouncy?

>>>BOUNCY X is now known as LASTPICKED

LASTPICKED: Foolish minority lovers, I HAVE RETURNED!

FYRE: Weak.

JAFFE: I know.

LASTPICKED: Fyre, I am coming for you. You will raise the seed of the new
Lastpicked, even more evil than I. Be my concubine.

FYRE: Uh, I've already been impregnated once by a killer. No thanks. Ass.

LASTPICKED: Fuck.

>>>LASTPICKED has left the chatroom

JAFFE: Dumbass.

FYRE: I know...I thought everyone knew about the Ass Child. 

JAFFE: Rod was cute. hehehehe. For a cock with arms.

FYRE: Shut up.

TOM K: Uh guys, if Lastpicked can access chat without haunting the database,
doesn't that mean he was in reality? So apparently he has the power now to fuck
with the line between dreams and reality even more.

JAFFE: Weak. The Grimnir was a better villain.

TOM K: Fuck you two...I'm going to stop him. I have my weapon right here.

FYRE: What's that?

TOM K: A case of Busch Light.

>>>TOM K has left the chatroom.

END CHAT TRANSCRIPT


CUT TO:

THE DREAM WORLD

TOM K is wandering around, chugging Busch Lights, holding the case, and he
sees something up ahead. It's Bill Moseley.

				BILL MOSELEY
			Hi Tom K!!! Want to share a beer?

				TOM K
			Of course.

So the two of them proceed to drink their asses off. Sure enough, soon TOM is 
shitfaced.

				TOM K
			Uhhhhnnnuhhhhhnhuhhhh

				BILL MOSELEY
			Indeed Tom...Indeed. HEIL!!!!!

BILL MOSELEY morphs into LASTPICKED.


CUT TO:

THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET CHATROOM

JAFFE and FYRE are in there.

START CHAT TRANSCRIPT

JAFFE: So, what Miike really meant was that life is precious.

FYRE: Shut up.

>>>LASTPICKED has entered the chatroom.

JAFFE: Welcome LASTPICKED.

JAFFE: Shit. For once I agree, my IRC ware sucks asscock.

FYRE: I HAVE AN IDEA. I GOTTA GO!!!

>>>FYRE has left the chatroom

JAFFE: No Fyre, don't leave me!!! *sobs like a baby*

LASTPICKED: HEIL LASTPICKED!

JAFFE: Hey, wanna play Horror Movie Trivia?

END CHAT TRANSCRIPT



FADE TO BLACK

THE END